Life Update

Hi darlings!

I know it’s been a while since I wrote a new blogpost, but I really needed a short (or long ;p) break!

Don’t get me wrong: I looooove writing about fashion and everything that has to do with it, but lately I felt some kind of change within me. Maybe it had something to do with the start of a brand new year, I don’t know, but the truth is I just felt different than a few months ago. While at the beginning of 2019 I knew exactly what I wanted, all those things weren’t really what I wanted anymore at the end of 2019. I always thought I wanted to live in Amsterdam (in one of those canal houses), travel a lot, work at a big fashion company, earn lots of money, have a lot of friends and a busy (social) life. Well, things changed. It just happened. This didn’t mean it was easy. There were days I felt so lonely and different, and just that feeling of not having a real goal or purpose in life was difficult. Everything you always thought you wanted or the things you thought that would make you happy: well they just weren’t true. When it was some random evening in November, when I felt sad and I was angry at the world and life, I wrote something with so many emotions running through my mind:

Sometimes I feel weird, lonely and it can even feel like I’m from another planet. I just feel so different and there are days I don’t understand life and the true meaning and purpose of life. This whole society is focused on becoming successful, working fulltime every week, earning a lot of money. All this as early as possible. Graduate before 25, get kids around 30. Ohh and you also need lots of friends, you need to workout, eat healthy, do a lot of extra activities, go to lots of parties, and go on a holiday as often as possible…… This all feels so overwhelming sometimes and it can really make you feel like your doing something wrong. Buttt guess what: you’re not doing something wrong. You are not on your own. I know there are many people out there who are really looking for some kind of deeper connection and want to slow things down and just enjoy the moment we have right now. And that’s also why I love Instagram, fashion, writing and photography. I can really express myself by being creative. It can calm your mind. Instagram made me also realize there are some people out there just like me. I just need to find them. It’s also totally okay to be different. There aren’t many people I click with and that’s fine. This only means that the people you do click with will be the ones who will stay with you for a long time and with whom you can talk about the deeper stuff. I would love to talk about the sun, the moon, the stars, life on this planet or other planets, our fears, our dreams, our entire childhoods, and the meaning of life. Just talk so much, feel so much, only to find out it’s already like 5 o’clock in the morning and you’re still enjoying the people you are with. Yes, there are days I wish I was ‘normal’ (whatever that may mean) so I could just do what everyone else is doing. But in the end I need to love myself for who I am (everyone should!) and trust the universe everyhting will turn out right.

So: take your time, love yourself, you are unique and that’s your superpower.

Well, when I read it right now I do feel some things changed. I’m more at peace with myself and since the beginning of 2020 I slowly started to feel better day by day. I also started to read some positive affirmations every day. It’s something I really believe in. They can improve your mindset and rewire your brain somehow. This year some positive things entered my life already. You may have read it on Instagram: but in January I got the news I got my own rental apartment! This just felt as some kind of gift from the universe. It gave me some kind of direction and the feeling of a brand new start with exciting new things to happen. Next to this, I also got the news I can work more hours every week (from 20 to 30) and I got some exciting new tasks. I can start an Instagram account for the furniture webshop I’m working for and do some small easy designing stuff for their new website. Furthermore, I’m being more thankful for the things I do have, instead of focusing on the things I don’t have. Yesss, I don’t have many friends but I do have a loving and caring family. I just love them so much and I can’t imagine living my life without them.

Soooo, I really believe 2020 will be my year! I’m not really sure where to go with my blog and Instagram right now, but I’ll figure it out. It just feels so good to not post a picture everyday anymore and spend a lot of time liking all those other pictures. I feel less pressure when I’m only posting a new photo like 2/3 times a week. This way I can enjoy what I love the most: being creative when I want to. The most important thing is that you do what you love to do. Create the life you want to live. Spend your time with the people you truly love.

My next blogpost will be all about my new apartment (somewhere in May). I’m really excited and I hope you’re all excited too! Ohh and thanks for reading this blogpost!

Ps. since I posted this blogpost in the ‘What-I-wore-category’ I’ll post some pictures from the past few months ;)