WHAT JJ WEARS

Hi!

It’s been a while since I wrote a new blogpost (oops, once again!), but I promised you I would show you my new rental apartment and I always keep my promises!

Soooo, a lot of things changed since I wrote my last blogpost, not only on a personal level but also in society and this whole world. During this weird period I was busy with moving out of my parents’ house, which wasn’t easy all the time. I genuinely do was happy that all the vintage stuff and furniture I collected over the years, could finally be moved to my own place (instead of catching dust in my parent’s attic). Also, the apartment I moved in was quite neat and I didn’t need to paint any walls or lay a new floor. The only thing I didn’t really like was to rent a scaffold tower to hang my curtains, since the ceiling is like 5 metres high. This was really scary and if I ever leave this place I will definitely not take the curtains with me ;p

Soooo, after two weeks the whole place was fully decorated and that moment of really being alone in my new apartment arrived. Well, you guys know I’m always completely honest about my feelings so: It. Was. Horrible. I missed having people around me, I missed my own bedroom, I missed my local supermarket, I just missed my standard daily routine. When I sat on the couch and looked around me I liked the way I decorated this place, but it just didn’t feel mine. Next to this, I also got kind of sad, frustrated and maybe even sligthly depressed during this whole Corona quarantine lifestyle. During this period the oldest sister of my mom also passed away totally unexpected, which made me realize that every day can be your last. These things made me feel like I didn’t live my life to the fullest and made me wonder: ‘Is this it?’, ‘Is this all that life has to offer?’, ‘What’s the meaning of life?’, ‘What’s the meaning of MY life?’, ‘What makes me truly happy?’. Having not an immediate answer on all these questions made me feel restless and alone, but I also got this huge need and pressure of wanting to change my life NOW. Get really happy right now. Get really inspired right now. Find my dream job right now. Find my dream boyfriend right now. Find my group of dream friends right now. Find my dream house right now. Travel the world right now. Welllll, if you want to force things, I can tell from experience, it just won’t happen and it will make you feel even more frustrated. I got in this negative flow and none of these things happened (I will save you the details of this period).

Soooo, yesterday I read this book called ‘Ikigai’ by Hector Garcia and Francesc Miralles. It’s about finding your reason to live and generally about how to live a happy and long life. This book is not a quick guide to finding your reason to live within a day, but I did experience calmness and some kind of a peaceful flow while reading this book. Overall, while I was lying in the sun and reading this book I got really inspired. It made me realize I should read more often, since I loved to read when I was a little kid. These topics like spirituality, psychology, mindfulness etcetera are really interesting to me, which made me even buy some more books about these topics. If you have any recommendations, let me know! I’m just a total dreamer, perfectionist and also some kind of a philosopher, so reading connects me more with my true feelings and emotions. The next few weeks I will let go the things I’m frustrated about and focus more on reading, meditating, eating healthy and working out. This way I will hopefully find my way back to myself, so things can start to flow naturally forward.

Wellll, I wrote a lot and even more than I expected to. I do can say that I slightly got used to living on my own and everyday I feel a little bit better about this place. Right now I ‘only’ need to find peace with all the other things in my life and/or find new ways to create the life I want. There is one thing I know for sure: if there is any exciting news in my life, I will let you know! I’m also really curious how you are feeling right now, so don’t hesitate to contact me if you want to talk about anything, really anything.

X

PS. If you experience something similar and/or want to travel the world with me, experience different cultures or something like that, let me know ;)

PPS. Don’t forget to check out my apartment (it’s not completely finished yet and I also want to buy more plants, but these shots give you a good impression) ↴